john schult

chat

Dr. Evil:	Now, where’s my mojo?
Fat Bastard:	First thing’s first, where’s your shitter? I got a turtle-head pokin out. Oh aye, it’s squinchy. Oh Christ I’m gettin all emotional from it ya know…

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Wow Nutella made the top 50! I really want to like Nutella. I bought some once, forgot I had it… http://srm.vitrue.com/ZHb

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"Now that my girlfriend is out of town I don’t know what I am going to do… my needs won’t be met."

text Little Golden Books That Never Made It

The Little Golden Books are classic books for children. These never quite made it to the printer. Credit goes to Gina Trussell for showing me this one :-)

You Are Different and That’s Bad
The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
Dad’s New Wife Robert
Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share
Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It-Myself Book
The Kids’ Guide to Hitchhiking
Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
All Cats Go to Hell
The Little Sissy Who Snitched
Some Kittens Can Fly
That’s it, I’m Putting You Up for Adoption
Grandpa Gets a Casket
The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
Strangers Have the Best Candy
Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
You Were an Accident
Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
Pop! Goes The Hamster…And Other Great Microwave Games
The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan
Your Nightmares Are Real
Where Would You Like to Be Buried?
Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
Why Can’t Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
Mommy’s Pills Taste Just Like Candy
Learn How To Fly With Just a Ladder and a Pillowcase

[Source]

#funny #ripoff

chat He said, she said...

Her:	I can tell when a man is digging me
Him:	Oh yeah, I am digging you
Her:	I dig you with a scoop shovel

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The company I work for, Vitrue, is hiring! We’re looking for web application developers, and other great talents. http://srm.vitrue.com/jobs

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RT @markpercival: RT @nicholasdr: reading this will cause you to laugh - rather loudly… http://www.subwaydouchery.com/

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jQTouch — jQuery plugin for mobile web development: http://www.jqtouch.com/ Thanks @markpercival !

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Boxcar is awesome. Push notifications for Twitter, Facebook and more! Get it here: http://boxcar.io

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The company I work for, Vitrue, is hiring! We’re looking for web application developers, and other great talents. http://srm.vitrue.com/jobs

#work